Deadly Secrets

“Why did you say that?”

It all stopped, his surroundings blurred in and out as he was losing focus. He had entrusted them with his life’s biggest secret, his weakness. And yet, they exposed it to the people who’d use that secret to endure pain and mental torture upon him. The dead silence was suddenly killing every bit of him.

“But didn’t I keep your secrets? Close to my heart and soul? Dying on the inside but not even letting a word out that would give away your cover?”

I protected you like a shield, eliminating every route that would lead to the dearest information that could be used against you. That could be words of destruction. That would weaken your knees and you’d just give way and fall down to the floor…

He found himself walking out, with the roar of the waves bringing him back to his senses. The winds swept his unkept hair over and over to his face, slapping it. The air was cold, but so was his soul. He felt uncovered, exposed to the cold and harsh winds of the winter. The scars felt open and were bleeding, but had a cold exposure to it. Wincing in pain and dragging himself past the bushes full of thorns, his legs gave way as they lost the strength and his face hit the snow graced floor, tears streaming down his face. The cold snow killed his pain receptors and he felt numb.

No matter what happened, your secret was intact. Forget a secret….secrets and heaps of secrets…not even one had ever seen the light.
And yet, it just wasn’t enough. All these years, the role I played as a brotherly figure , as a guardian, fighting every form of darkness in your life and being by your side all the time, keeping your secrets close to my heart and not even letting a word slip out of my tongue, not for you.

Despite being the younger and the inexperienced one, he had to stand up as the man and act like one. Little did they know that one deadly secret was enough for him to be shattered and broken in the cruelest way, breaking him mentally and spiritually.
Finally his body felt the same. As his soul, his heart and his feelings.

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The Mind and The Paradox

Lost in a paradox.

Walking past pavements, bristling past thorny fields, she was really determined about finding her way out of this dimension that she was trapped in. It was dark and cold, with the silent air touching her skin, giving her chills in the process.

“I’m not lost” she thought.

“You can get out of this.”
“It never mattered in the beginning.”
“That heart, have faith.”
“Don’t give in to the darkness.”
“You are a brave girl.”

A small ray of light was shining across the woods, illuminating a small portion of that side.

“It starts with that small passage. And then you follow it to get your way out.” said a familiar voice, in her head.

“If you get out of this, you will be an inspiration and symbol of hope for many.”

“They thrive on inspiration, they look around for hope. They need a chance at survival while being alive..”

She walked towards that beam and felt a presence around her. It grew stronger as she advanced, like it was stopping her from going to the light.

A dark claw appeared out of nowhere and caught her, pulling her away from the light.

“Not now. You belong here. You can never see the light, again.” it growled.

With her heart beating hard, she closed her eyes and continued walking ahead. The grip hardened as she could feel blood oozing from her left wrist. She kept on walking and praying, under her breath. It made one last attempt at the brink of the river….

“If it is worth giving in for the better good, why not?”

And then, it was gone. The blinding light destroyed it like a shadow and she didn’t open her eyes yet. She could feel the warmth radiating through her soul and she opened her eyes.

“Don’t let your past determine your future.”

It was a familiar sight, that beautiful hut decorated by the garden and the scent that was blossoming the air. Tears streaming down her face, she entered the hut and found her family there. She hugged them tight and she noticed that the blood on her hand had ceased …and the mark, was slowly fading away.

She was back into the light because of what she has in her heart, faith and acceptance. The darkness was never going to approach that strong girl.

Writing about her.

I was too busy listing out all the things that she had done that broke my heart, but I never listed out one of the many good things that she had done when she had left me, heartbroken.

The ability to express feelings when most fail to find the right words, the ability to draw ink out of the pen to the parchment, the smooth writing that turned blurry with the inclusion of tears and the handwriting gets shaky. The ability to describe how you really felt, doing justice for the words intended and the ability to relate to how others feel.

She, taught me how to write from the heart, not from the mind.

The only helping hand.

The mind itself is a beautiful disaster. Illusions and dreams alike, it ventures to dimensions and realms of unbent thoughts and hard felt realizations. The past experiences have dawned upon him and have ceased him from ever returning to the light ever.

It was funny. I was wandering in the darkness, as usual and a portal of light opened up. A breach, that had a force of good. It pulled me and there…was a hand. She had brought me back to the light and had overlooked all the scars and demonic residues the darkness had left. Marks and wounds plastered on my face, she rubbed it with her tender hands and suddenly, her touch was healing and soothing. And then it happened. A storm had arrived. She had to escape and I had to let her go, for her life. Since the love was real, her life and safety were the only things that mattered the most to me. She, is my world..and I couldn’t see it being shattered or destroyed. I was taken by the storm and it plunged me back deep into the darkness. My heart became hollow again and my soul, deceived. I was pulled back into the light to be thrown into this pit of darkness, again. I was brought back to the light to be blinded by it.

The world is huge. It is actually a lot bigger than we assume it to be, stretching forth the seas, oceans and landscapes. The vast population comes with mixtures of emotions and deep feelings. The tired, sad, exhausted and “lost all the hope in the world” type of people. Giving in more than 100% of yourself for something that you cannot imagine to lose ever, while people that you have been fighting for couldn’t fathom out the effort. People say a lot of things.
“No matter what happens, you will never truly be happy.”
“Never lose that heart, kid. I know people who’ve had that and never returned to the light.”
“You can’t lock up the darkness.”
“There are people in this world who deal only in extremes. It’s naive to think that anything less than extreme measures will stop them”
“I know people with none of that, worth 10 of you.”

There are times when you fail to express how you’re feeling. At times like these, miraculously, the words tend to find their way through another being. The ability to understand someone’s misery by keeping them in mind is truly an art. The human mind can create delusional paths as well as large monuments.

The thoughts rooted his mind to the dimensions of darkness, preventing the light. But then there were only a few. They made absolute sense because they, understood what it had meant, all along.

The Sword of Souls

“Everybody has their own battles to fight. We just look around us. To know if we might be outnumbered or back stabbed.”
She was out of her breath as she gored through the last branch. To her absolute disgust, another herd of pairdemons stormed in her way. Tired as she was and as heavy the sword was, she just stopped for a moment to recollect something. She travelled down the dimensions of her mind.

“We have come a long way, you and I. You’ve been fighting your own battles, your own wars. You’ve been victorious all by yourself, with your own heart and soul. The heart and soul that you possess in you are the ones of the people you love the most in the entire universe. The heart of your mother and the soul of your father. Look around you. You’ve come this far. The battles may never seem to end, but never lose your heart and soul. If there is one thing that has been with you so far, all your life….you know what it is and if you don’t now, you surely will know one day. You will feel it.”

Warrior face on. Sword held tight in her grip as she fought through the storm and sliced and stabbed at everything that was dark and huge. It was taking so much out of her, it was exhausting. But her heart forced her not to give up. Her soul protected her from any dark possession that could force her to give up to the darkness. It was the battle for her world.

The grip of her hands weakened as she let go off the handle. The sword hit the ground with a clang and her knees gave way. With the support of the sword plowed to the ground, she slowly got to her feet. As tears rolled down her cheek with her smile wide as never before, she recalled events. Events of the past. Restoring the faith in herself which was entirely shattered by the outsiders.

A weak smile and a sense of euphoria, her face was kissed by the rising sun, slowly swallowing the cloud of darkness caused by the pairdemons as the breeze gushed through, soothing her heart and soul.

“And when you are victorious, the sun shall rise and you will bask in the glory. And when a breeze follows, you’ll know. You will know that this is the moment.”

Darkness

We all have two sides to ourselves.
For the better or the worst of the worst.
The dark soul within channels negativeness and brings one to a world never seen or heard of.
Demons within and darkness in the depths of his soul, he got out of his heavy heart and dragged himself out of his sorrow and grief.

Into a world full of demons, befriending fiends and monsters who seemed unfamiliar. With no heart at all, the venom of the dark matter pulled him deeper into its demonic roots, blinding him in the process.
There was no gasp for air and there surely wasn’t an attempt for struggle. The night was dark and full of terrors. But there was no fear, as he was one of them now.

Detachments

Perfect.

The Fallen Feather

Growing up came along with mastering the ability to get close to somebody without letting them to see what lies within you. Life has been a harsh teacher about attachments and expectations. Attachment is a great fabricator of illusions.  I’m not sure if I can ever go back to the naive enthusiasm that was one felt when I met somebody new. The excitement has been replaced by lingering cynicism, knowing that they will eventually leave, just a matter of when. Still don’t know if it is a good quality or a bad one, but it comes with knowing me. Don’t get attached to me, don’t let me do the same. All things have a season and every season has to come to an end.

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