Times change

Things were so different and I was so cheery. Felt alive and my heart used to burst with happiness. And it did. For real. It emptied every fragment of joy and happiness that I had within. I started doing things that I wouldn’t even think about doing. Standing at the highest peak in the country, with cold winds freezing the soul within, I stood there in the dark silence, alone. I would end up at cliffs and the roar of the waves would describe how I was in constant battle mode with myself. And somehow, after all this time, I started falling for the darkness. All this time, in the light, with people around me…I wanted some time alone in the darkness.
The idea of eating alone on a table seems pretty absurd to many. But I did it, with no feeling in my heart. Not as a subject of pity, but that’s what I had to be always, alone. I chose the darkness and the silence over the abandoning and illusions created by the lights. I chose to stick with the demons, not to rise above them.

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